(Two cricket fanatics with their views on world cricket from a Dunedin sofa)

"Your mate Sir Richard seems to be copping a bit of flak at the moment."

"Flak? You call it flak? I call it unwarranted criticism of a needlessly mountainous degree."

"You may call it that pal. But I worry about a man who says he isn't going to talk to the media and then three days later spreads himself over virtually every page of the Sunday Star-Times."

"He was just giving his point of view, mate. That fellow Boock on the NZ Herald who provoked Paddles' media ban couldn't write his own name in the dust on a venetian blind."

"Mate, need I remind you of the latest Heylen Research Poll?"

"You do need to remind me of that, yes."

"They polled 50 New Zealand males at random, and found 17 of them had played for the CLEAR Black Caps."

"That's only 34%, mate, I think you're splitting hairs."

"Mate, I was at a dinner party the other night, and I was the only one there who hadn't played for the Black Caps."

"Can I just remind you pal, that this is the most injury-ravaged team in the history of sport?"

"Well, you're telling the story mate. I'm just saying Sir Richard is picking guys for the Black Caps I haven't even heard of, and I know more about cricket than just about anyone."

"You do, I would have to agree with you on that. Though that young guy on Sky who looks like Martin Crowe from the eyebrows down knows a bit too - I was impressed with his comments during the one-day decider last Sunday."

"So was I. Could it be Martin Crowe's son do you think?"

"Could be, mate, could be. But the resemblance is uncanny - from the eyebrows down."

"From the eyebrows down as you say. I found myself saying over and over 'bugger me - that kid looks a lot like Martin Crowe from the eyebrows down'. Reminded me of the first time I saw Marty down here at a Rothmans Under 23 tournament in the 70s. I think he was 16 at the time. Very fine player."

"Did you enjoy that Zimbabwe one-dayer?"

"As a purist, mate, I was enthralled. Remember what we were saying about the importance of a good cricketing name? Need I mention at this point that we were thrashed by a guy called Streak?"

"Well you should also perhaps mention we were thrashed by a guy called Flower."

"Mate, we were delicately picked apart by Flower. We were thrashed by Streak. What was Flem doing giving those final overs to McMillan?"

"I had no problem with that, mate. What's your point?"

"Mate, McMillan is diabetic. You saw his victory dance after he bowled Strang. That would have put his blood sugar reading under one on the old glucometer. He wouldn't have had the energy to turn a page. I wasn't surprised Streak hammered him straight into the open stand."

"You're right. A thinking captain would have given McMillan a banana after that victory dance."

© CricInfo